Bits and Bobs...

Buttermilk Syrup made without the vanilla is still delicious, simply a milder flavor. I need to trust myself. The syrup didn't look quite right, and I couldn't figure out why. I figured my memory was faulty. It wasn't. Details matter. However, it's good to know that if I don't have vanilla, the syrup will still taste yummy.

The Gods of the Copybook Headings by Rudyard Kipling. I read this through the first time, months ago. I struggled with it, not understanding at least half. I've done a lot of learning, and now it scares me silly because I understand. The only thing I needed to look up was "Feminian Sandstones." At first, the only place I could find any reference to this phrase was within the poem itself. A little more searching, and I learned it refers to a building material used to construct medieval churches. And it makes sense. It's a dark poem that comes from a dark time in Kipling's life, and yet I find in it a call to stand more steadfastly on God's side. In the world being created by those who believe in the good of the collective, I have no place. The choice is mine: Live in fear or live with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence.

Food is a mammoth struggle for me, with more pitfalls and traps than a Dungeons and Dragons maze. The history is ugly and riddled with nonsense, guilt, and survival, but I haven't given up hope in my ability to tame this particular dragon. I stopped investing in diet books or even reading diet articles for the simple reason being that the first thing they suggest is eating whole grains. I don't know anyone besides me who is allergic to bran. No whole grains, of any kind, whatsoever. White flour, white rice, no problem. It's been a blessedly quiet week, and it's given me the opportunity to focus, and I've learned a few things, which I've been putting into practice. If it isn't a permanent change, it won't make any difference what I've done. But neither will I beat myself up. I'll keep searching.