Happy New Year!

Back in December 2009, I decided I was tired of the Resolution Rat Race. It annoyed me no end that making promises to one's self to change was treated like a huge joke. I truly wanted to change my life. I needed to change my life. I didn't want to hear the jokes about not making it through January Second. What was the point?

Being the problem solver that I am, I went to work mulling over possible solutions. In December, I used one of my Christmas cards for myself. Within it, I wrote out the gifts I planned to give to myself for Christmas throughout the coming year. I accomplished them, to a certain extent. Last Christmas, they all made it on my list of Gifts to myself, again, in varying forms. I realized they were gifts I wanted to give to myself, every year, for the rest of my life. Now, I hold to those gifts, but starting this year, I'll add more specifics. This year, for the first time, I'm going to give myself gifts in what I consider to be seven overall areas of my life: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Writing, Social, Giving.

This year's Christmas Gifts to Myself:

1. I allowed lack of funds to curb my Just Because It's Tuesday gifts. I want to learn to do it without spending a lot of money.

2. Lose the fat. A friend posted a picture showing the difference between 5 lb of fat and 5 lb of muscle. It made an impression. I'm not going to think of it as losing weight, but losing fat.

3. Kindle - I need an ebook reading device.

4. Finish two more novels, in addition to becoming in every sense of the words a published author. I want to learn how to write articles.

5. Do more about my appearance. I know I'll feel more comfortable in social situations if I feel more comfortable with my appearance. I've allowed a lot to slide because I wanted to pretend like it didn't matter. It does.

6. I enjoy natural beauty products, especially making my own, but I haven't done much of it, ever. This year, I'm going to do more of it. I have incredibly sensitive skin, and can't use a lot of products. Natural products, I make myself, seem to be easier on my skin.

7. Continue to be a blessing.

A new brain please...

It would be a good start, anyway. I'm ever amazed by how discombobulated I become when my hormones are out of whack. Thinking becomes an almost impossible task. Remembering anything is a challenge. Trying to work on anything becomes a monumental challenge, and I usually have to redo the work once my brain is back. So, yesterday and today (my worst days in the cycle) are being spent reading and doing non-decision type stuff. I've been reading other bios to help me form my own ideas of what I'd like. I've also fiddled with making my own business cards. No decisions to be made, yet, only allowing my mind to puzzle things out.

Week Twenty-Seven of REAL...

The 23rd: weigh in: 234.6 lb. One SEAL puppy rep. Five-minute walk; it was too cold! LOL! I couldn't stay awake any longer, last night. It was 9:30 p.m. I woke at 12:30 a.m. Blessedly, I was able to go back to sleep, and slept the night through. I'm feeling better than I have all week. Thank you, God.

The 24th: weigh in: 234.2 lb. One SEAL puppy rep. Half-mile walk; COLD!! Well, cold for here, anyway. Still terribly tired. With the holiday, my eating isn't at its best, but it's much better than it used to be and improving.

The 25th: weigh in: 235.6 lb. Merry Christmas!! I finally remembered to take an allergy pill, last night. What a huge difference! I feel so much better, today.

The 26th: weigh in: 235.8 lb. Not bad. I was afraid it might be much worse. One SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk, in 40 minutes, so total is not good at 50 minutes. Not going to beat myself up. One more SEAL puppy rep.

The 27th: weigh in 235.6 lb. Whoohoo! It's only a little, but considering what I'm eating, leftovers, i.e., mostly desserts, that really isn't too bad. I planned on doing better, today, but didn't. Two-mile walk, plus a bit more, in about an hour. Total 110 minutes.

The 28th: weigh in: 235.6 lb. How'd that happen after yesterday's binge? Don't know. Don't care. Just glad I didn't completely botch my progress. I will do better today. I'm feeling better. Lots of things going through my head, in a good way. Started the day with Weightless tea. We'll see how it goes. One SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk, plus a bit more, with my sister, for about an hour. Total 170 min. One more SEAL puppy rep. Well, shoot. Brain is self-destructing, early. Hate that. Brain will be back in a few days, though not sooner than I'd like. Sigh.

The 29th: weigh in: 235.8 lb. Waist circumference: 41". Not surprised by the last one. That will disappear again, within a few days. Reminding myself that it's important to be gentle with myself, especially when it comes to things over which I have no control, or at least very little. Time to make myself some Red Raspberry Leaf tea. One-plus mile walk, with my sister. It took a while. 230 minutes total. Tomorrow will be better. Today's goal is to make it through without beating myself up over the fact that my mind will wander and I'll be tired and crampy.

One more down...

Today, my sister, a professional photographer, took me out for a photo shoot. I dressed in the outfit I thought fit my Laurel Hawkes persona. When we first started working on my branding, this was the skirt and blouse that leapt to my mind. She chose four different spots, and took over a hundred pictures.

I don't like pictures of me. My face is scarred by years of acne. I'm also overweight. It makes my face rounder. My parents have never been kind about my appearance. Neither has a sibling, less immediate family members, acquaintances, and total strangers. I hate dealing with pictures of me. Cookies, cake, fudge, hot chocolate, bread, and more all fell victim to my need to stuff the stress.

That being said, my sister and I laughed, a lot. We started at nine o'clock in the morning. By noon, we had whittled down the hundred plus shots to one. I came home, and she continued to work. By five, she stopped by with the finished product.

Wow! It's me, but better.

The picture is done, beautifully. Thanks Ruth!!

Tomorrow, I'll tackle one more thing on the list.

Follow through...

Yesterday, I started my assignments. What I planned to do, I did. But there's still so much to do. So much to learn! I admit it: I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I'm reading The Snow Angel by Glenn Beck and SEAL of My Dreams by a variety of romance authors.

I've posted this picture before, but it's Tuesday again, and it's simply so cute!!

Carpe diem... only one thing...

There is only one thing I absolutely must do, today: Follow through on the assignment I've been given. I can do this. It's exciting and new, and doable, though I'm scared silly.

I had a most enjoyable Christmas. I hope everyone else is still smiling.

Courage is needed, and this lightens my heart (thanks kiki):

Thank Goodness It's Sunday #83

~Merry CHRISTmas!!!

~Hallelujah Chorus flash mob http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

~Amazing new opportunities.

~NORAD's Track Santa http://www.noradsanta.org/en/ This is my first year visiting this fun link. I've bookmarked it for next year.

~Unexpected gifts beyond what I ever imagined. God will pour out a blessing...

Christmas Eve...

It's important to remember....

Thank you Inspirational widget.

Week Twenty-Six of REAL...

The 16th: weigh in: 232.2 lb. Going down. That being said, I made cookies and bread, today.

The 17th: weigh in: 233.4 lb. Not surprised, but it will be going down again soon. I seem to be getting the hang of this. One SEAL puppy rep. Two and one-half mile walk 60 minutes. One more SEAL puppy rep. Today, I'm going to start trying to walk 200 minutes a week.

The 18th: weigh in: 233.4 lb. Woke up restless, my ankle sore, so took myself for a 20-minute walk. Would have been longer, but it started drizzling. Rain is good. Total 80-minutes. I'll start the count over again on Friday so I can keep track of everything in the same time frame.

The 19th: weigh in: 233.8 lb. One SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk in 45 minutes. Total 125 minutes. One more SEAL puppy rep.

The 20th: weigh in 233.6 lb. I woke at 3:15 a.m., unable to go back to sleep for all the grinding gears in my head. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the new path I've chosen. I thought I was prepared... "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." I rolled out of bed and took care of things that were niggling at me, then rolled back into bed, but couldn't shut my brain off, so I read, until my alarm clock went off, at 6:00 a.m. Took myself for a one-mile walk. 20 minutes. Total 145 minutes.

The 21st: weigh in: 233.6 lb. Slept better last night. Thank God. One SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk in 40 minutes. Total 185 minutes. One more SEAL puppy rep. One more mile. Total is over 200 minutes. I'm sleeping in, tomorrow. I'm also cutting myself some slack, tomorrow, as regards the scale. One of my dear friends took me to Sweet Tomatoes for my birthday, and my sister picked me up from there and took me to Mimi's Cafe for their yummy hot cocoa and a pumpkin muffin. Whoohoo!! It has been an awesome day!

The 22nd: weigh in: 235.4 lb. Waist circumference: 39.5". Yep, not surprised by that. Total walking minutes for this week: More than 205. Whoohoo!! Today, I'm back to eating better. Yesterday really was an aberration, a very delicious one at that, and I don't regret it for a moment, especially the wonderful company.

It's coming...

The Hobbit! Whoohoo!! Next December. iTunes has a lovely movie trailer that was posted at FaceBook.

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/thehobbit/

I'm looking forward to it. I suppose that's kind of obvious. :-) Enjoy.