Thursday, May 31, 2012

Week Forty-Nine of REAL...

Reminders: REAL - Reduce stress Exercise Adequate sleep Lower caloric intake

What Navy SEALs are required to do to make it into BUD/S: http://navyseal.s5.com/requirements.html

RIght up front: Never in a million years could I do what is required. However, I needed to start somewhere. Considering how fit the SEALs are, I figured it was a good place to start. So my SEAL puppy reps consist of girls' pushups, crunches, and flutter kicks, a SEAL training basic. I started with doing one of each. This week, I try to increase my reps. I've worked up to 30.

The 25th: weigh in: 233.2 lb. Shoot. I also woke up before 4 am. Sleep is still weird. Sigh. SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk. SEAL puppy rep. Tired.

The 26th: weigh in: 234.2 lb. This is not good. This is hormones. Great. Woke up before 4 am, again. Good news: I was able to lay on my right side without any sciatic pain. It has been years. Physical therapy, with 2-lb weights.

The 27th: weigh in: 233 lb. Good to see. Took myself for an easy one-mile walk.

The 28th: weigh in: 231.2 lb. Yes! SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk. SEAL puppy rep. I've figured out the sleep problem. I wake about 3 am because I'm too warm. I'm going to try splitting my sleep, and see if it works, since it's cool enough during the middle of the day.

The 29th: weigh in: 231 lb. Slept well, last night. What a blessing. My room was cold enough. One-mile walk. Physical therapy, with 2 lb weights.

The 30th: weigh in: 231.4 lb. Not bad, considering I ate out, last night. SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk. SEAL puppy rep. Slept okay.

The 31st: weigh in: 231.6 lb. Waist circumference: 39". It's okay. I was asleep by 10pm last night, afraid I'd wake at 3am. I did. Difference? I went back to sleep. Yay! Why? I took a Benadryl before I went to bed. I'm breathing better this morning. One-mile walk. Physical therapy, with 2-lb weights.

Inspiration, at least to me:


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Sorting...

I'm feeling overwhelmed. Why?

Upcoming Romance Reader Event, Arizona Dreamin'. I'm looking forward to it, and yet it's also scary. I'm meeting new people, though many of them I've interacted with online. It's still meeting new people, new wonderful people, but new people. Yes. It's always tough for me, but I pull up my head and move forward. I've had a lot of great experiences. I anticipate this one being great also, but I won't pretend all the interaction isn't overload. I'm planning some down time.

After I finish editing, I always feel a bit drained, like I poured everything into the book. Now that I've written it, it doesn't sound so bad. I try to give myself recovery time, but I suspect I underestimate how much time is needed. Then again, I have more deadlines, so dawdling isn't an option.

I'm prepping the fourth book. It's written in part, but there's a great deal of work yet. I need to properly schedule my time so everything is done that needs to be done, on time. I am capable, but it won't be easy. I'm okay with that. I just need a little time to panic once in a while. Then it's shut up and buck up time.

The Desert Rose meeting, last night, was very informative. It was both encouraging and discouraging. I'm okay with that. I've set my course, with no desire to turn back despite the possible threat of storms. Welcome to real life.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Oops... spaced it...

NASCAR - Carl game in 9th. This has not been a great season for him, but he's my driver, and I'm sticking to him. :-)

My sleep has been seriously messed up. I'm doing a lot of new things, and I suspect that's part of the struggle. I actually did sleep well last night, for over five hours, with no waking at 3 am. Thanks God.

I'm looking forward to attending Arizona Dreamin' - A Romance Readers' Event.

Tonight is the monthly Desert Rose meeting. I'm looking forward to it.

Time to start the day. Hope everyone finds something to make them smile.

Here's something to start, from Funny Cat Photos, I think, or maybe it was Facebook:


Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day...

All gave some. Some gave all.

My deep and abiding gratitude to those who have given the ultimate sacrifice so I might enjoy the freedoms I do and too often take for granted. My thoughts and prayers are with the families who must endure the pain of an empty place at the table. Thank you for raising and loving someone of honor and courage.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Thank Goodness It's Sunday #104...

~Franklin Santagate 53 minute interview part 5 of 5 on It's a New Day:

~I have been blessed with amazing friends.

~Life is changing in awesome ways.

~Summer has been held off for a few days yet, with lovely cool weather.

~Inspiration, in all its varied forms.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

My Heroes... Vets and those currently serving...


It's Memorial Weekend. Today, I want to remember all the vets and those currently serving. They each made a choice I did not, but I benefit from their service. Thank you.


Friday, May 25, 2012

Follow up on anger...

Several of my blogging friends have addressed anger this week. It was exactly what I needed.

I decided to step back and investigate more thoroughly my own anger triggered this week.

I know it wasn't the subject matter, as demonstrated when one of my friends said they disagreed with me. So if disagreeing with me isn't why I was angry then what was it?

It was buried in the "hot topic."

When others try to emotionally blackmail me -- manipulate me emotionally -- my anger explodes. It's been used against me all my life, and I am so done.

My sister has described anger as an early warning system. It tells you a boundary has been violated.

So what boundaries were violated?

My no-go into narcissistic game playing.

~A compliment negated by evidence.

You are beautiful but studies have shown that smart men don't marry women with a face as scarred as yours is or who weigh as much as you do.

~Blaming one group for another group's problems.

Clean your plate. Children in China are starving.

~A generalization used to prove a specific point.

Some people make bread whether or not they have a bread machine, but those who might have considered it an option have less reason to do so if they're told using a machine is the only smart way to make bread.

~Comparing apples and oranges.

The recipe doesn't have to change (even though you're trading out different ingredients), just like a business changing it's accounting method doesn't compromise them.

~Sharing emotions to influence others using hidden information.

I'm angry about how society deems single people outcasts, as less than those who are in relationships, especially because of the problems of my past have made a healthy relationship next to impossible.

Yes. I realized I'd pulled some emotional blackmail myself. I'm not proud of it. I'm working on being better about it. I don't like it in myself; I'm not going to take it from anyone else.

Studying the whole thing with a more objective perspective hasn't changed my original observation that it was written with the intent to manipulate my opinion with emotional blackmail. The whole thing is loaded with emotionally charged terms and evidence used to manipulate my feelings and beliefs.

What's the most important thing I learned?

I am allowed to have my opinion. I do not have to play "nice" and bend to make everyone else feel better. I can be angry. I know how to express that anger with passion and without swearing or name-calling. I recognize manipulation and emotional blackmailing, and I do not have to accept it. I've worried about falling into old traps. Not so much now. This doesn't mean I'm safe. It does mean I'm learning. Good to know.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Week Forty-Eight of REAL...

Reminders: REAL - Reduce stress Exercise Adequate sleep Lower caloric intake

What Navy SEALs are required to do to make it into BUD/S: http://navyseal.s5.com/requirements.html

RIght up front: Never in a million years could I do what is required. However, I needed to start somewhere. Considering how fit the SEALs are, I figured it was a good place to start. So my SEAL puppy reps consist of girls' pushups, crunches, and flutter kicks, a SEAL training basic. I started with doing one of each. This week, I try to increase my reps. I've worked up to 27.

The 18th: weigh in: 229.2 lb. Whoohoo! My sweat is crying. Can you hear it? "Help me! I'm melting!" Yes! SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk. SEAL puppy rep.

The 19th: weigh in: 228.2 lb. Was so tired last night, I crawled into bed by 9 p.m. Of course, this means I woke at 1 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. I stayed in bed, with my eyes closed, and let my brain run wild. Close to dawn, I nodded off a few times but kept waking up. It's okay. I'm learning to be flexible. I'll nap later. I walked with my sister and did a bit of yard work. Physical therapy, with 2-lb weights. I'm so proud of me and how well I'm doing with taking care of myself. Go me!

The 20th: weigh in: 227.2 lb. Cool. I was up for 24 hours yesterday, taking myself to bed at 1 a.m. I imagined I'd sleep for hours. Sure, 4-1/2 hours. Eyes popped open at 5:30 a.m. Rolled out of bed and took myself for a leisurely 1-mile walk. I'm giving myself permission to take a nap later, though I never took one yesterday. I'm not used to feeling this way. We'll see what happens. By 7:30 a.m. I was yawning. So I laid down and slept for three hours. I feel much better. And then slept another two hours in the afternoon. I think I may be caught up now. :-)

The 21st: weigh in: 231.2 lb. Uh-oh. I didn't make it to sleep at all last night. It doesn't bode well for the next few days. Maybe I need to relax and simply let myself do the switch. I don't know. SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk. SEAL puppy rep. Yes, I still did my exercises.

The 22nd: weigh in: 231.8 lb. Shoot. Then again, my sleep scheduling being off wasn't helpful. I seem to be back on track, already. Cool. I went to bed at 11 last night, and slept until 5 this morning. Six hours straight. Yay! One-mile walk and physical therapy with 2-lb weights.

The 23rd: weigh in: 233 lb. Shoot. I've been stressing a bit, so I suppose it's understandable, but I don't like it. SEAL puppy rep. Two-mile walk. SEAL puppy rep.

The 24th: weigh in: 231.8 lb. Waist circumference: 39". I've only started the day, but I will go for a one-mile walk and do my physical therapy with 2-lb weights. Good to see the weight going back down. The only way it is happening is me believing in myself, believing I am worth taking care of, believing I don't need to hide behind the weight. I will overcome this.

Inspiration, at least to me:


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Ruffling feathers...

Yes, I'm about to ruffle some feathers, so if you aren't in the mood, don't read what follows. I've tried to be respectful in stating my opinions, but suspect I wasn't always successful since I'm passionate about this. Should you decide to continue, please continue all the way to the end. You've been warned.

A comment was made about my Sunday post, regarding the Catholic video. I've decided to post my thoughts, knowing they will be unpopular with many. The commenter disliked the view of marriage:

I gave them the right to their opinion, and posted it. Now, I'm exercising my right to disagree.

Nowhere in the Bible anywhere does God sanction same-sex marriages. I don't pretend to understand how it all works in the end. I will not condemn someone else. It isn't my place. God is the final judge, but we are expected to adhere to the laws God has set, not rationalize them away. We are not to commit adultery. Marriage has been established as a union between one man and one woman. Perhaps it is tradition, but until God -- not fickle man -- reveals it is something else, I prefer to err on His side. And before you question it, please continue reading.

Have you considered the nightmares created by "redefining" marriage? What about marriage between multiple partners? What about marriage between adults and children? What about marriage between a person and their pet? Where do you draw the line, or do you prefer the line be removed altogether? Considering the fact that God laid down 10 specific laws, He has drawn lines. Who is man to change those lines? I know, I know, man decided on the one man/one woman. Really? God started with Adam and Eve. One man and one woman. God's house is a house of order, not chaos.

Please do not insult me by saying that uncommitted relationships are encouraged by the laws established. It's a weak argument. Being single, I'm held to God's laws, including not committing adultery. I do my best to obey His Commandments. Frankly, I'm sick to death of having men/women -- not God -- demand I accept their terms and definitions because they want to feel better about themselves rather than bite the bullet and obey the 10 Commandments. I'm not saying it's easy. It isn't, but there are only ten. If it were easy, why bother? And those who don't believe in God have cut the first four, so there are only six, most of which are treated as optional or at least flexible.

You say the Catholic church wouldn't need to change. Do you understand the tenants of the Catholic church? I'm not Catholic and I'm pretty clear on quite a few of their tenants, including the one on the Sacrament of Marriage. You don't like what the Catholics believe? Fine. Choose a different church that conforms to what you want. There are plenty to choose from. If you don't believe in the tenants of the Catholic church, then you aren't Catholic. Really. Stop lying to yourself. Find out what you are and quit demanding others bend and twist to fit you.

And don't you dare try to throw the label of hater at me. You don't know me. You don't know my history, except what little I've shared here. You don't know my friends, my losses, or my journey. You do not know my prayers or my standing with God.

Am I angry right now? Yes. I resent anyone trying to manipulate me with emotional blackmail. And yes, that is exactly what you're trying to do.

In case you don't see it for yourself, let me show you:

The Roman Catholic video was well-made and beautiful, but a simple review of anthropological liturature and writings on ancient history will show that the word 'marriage' is not used in quite so simple a fashion as the creators of the video want us to believe.

Using "scientific evidence" has you coming across as educated. I don't care if you are or not. You are using education as your weapon of choice. It's a poor choice. Science is all about theories. Theories are disproved every day. In fact, the whole point of science is to disprove the experts.

Over a decade ago I came up with the one argument no one makes and no one takes the time to refute: if we discourage committed relationships between homosexuals, we encourage uncommitted relationships.

This is a blatant lie. If you start with a lie, it doesn't matter how many truths you pile on top of it, it's still a lie. But in case it isn't clear: WE encourage? Since when? No one is encouraging anything. Don't you dare play the it's-everyone-else's-fault card. So it's perfectly okay that I have to live by a different standard simply because I'm single? What happened to personal responsibility? What happened to self-restraint? What about self-discipline?

Some homosexuals will have committed relationships anyway, but those who might have considered it an option have less reason to do so if such relationships are generally viewed (legally, politically, socially) as no better than sleeping around.

And this is different from heterosexuals how? The Catholic church frowns on premarital relationships. Period. For the record, "relationships" and/or marriage are not requirements to survive and thrive. Really.

The position of the church need not change on this, just as Buddhists need not eat chicken as a part of a campaign to promote free-range (as opposed to caged) chicken.

Wait... what? Now you're comparing apples and oranges. The comparison is only vaguely related, at best. Trying to muddy things by false comparisons suggests a desire to hide from the truth. I suspect you're offended by that, but I'm sick of having such ridiculous arguments thrown at me as "evidence" of someone's rightness.

I admit, I am as unhappy about the desire of the makers of the video to deny Unitarians the right to perform 'gay marriages' as I would an effort to force the Catholic Church to perform 'gay marriages'.

And now it's about you. Finally, some truth: You are unhappy. I understand that. I don't agree with your point of view, but I accept you feel that way, and with reasons you haven't shared. I'm also okay with that. I don't need to know your reasons. You are entitled to them.

How could you have addressed this without raising my hackles? "I don't agree with all of the Catholic tenants."

There. Done.

I begrudge no one a loving relationship. I know what it is to live without, and to live with no hope of this changing. Most of my life, all I wanted was to marry a loving man and have children with him, to see his eyes when I look in our children's little faces. My past has made it impossible. There are I things I never learned and things I learned that hamper me in developing healthy relationships. It is with indescribable sorrow I have carefully boxed up those dreams and turned them over to God.

Have I sometimes wished I could change the rules? Just cut loose and live for the day. Do what I want. Yes.

Then sanity returns, and I realize I can break myself against the Commandments God has given, or I can use them as He intended all along: Guidance and protection.

Protection? Yes. I have enough regrets without the additional ones I'd have added if I'd done what I wanted rather than what God commanded.

The real question about that video isn't whether or not the Catholics are right or wrong in their beliefs. Really.

One can look at the video and complain and nitpick, or one can look at that video and examine one's own beliefs.

For me, since I'm not Catholic, the question is: What do I believe? Do I live up to those beliefs? Am I willing to take a stand for those beliefs?

I don't agree with all the Catholic tenants, but that isn't what I'm standing for: I'm standing for their right to believe and practice their faith as their church teaches. I'm standing for freedom of religion, peaceful religion.

If we give up our right to worship God how and where we may, nothing else matters.

The video is asking: Will you stand for what you believe?

The battle before us is as simple and as complicated as that: Do you believe in freedom of religion or don't you? If you don't, then it doesn't matter. If you do, then will you stand?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What didn't get done...

Laundry wasn't done. It's okay. Friday is soon enough, or Wednesday. It's flexible.

Transcribing. Nope. Not at all.

What happened?

I turned my days and nights around. It's cooler to sleep during the day. I prefer to sleep cold. Night is too warm. My writing is also more of a nocturnal activity, so I often find myself writing away, and suddenly it's the wee hours of the morning.

I did manage to finish a book by a new author. It should have been half as long. There were entire scenes that needed to be cut, and a lot of repetition. I wanted to quit, but had promised myself to see this one through to the end. I truly did love the last half, though there was a lot of superfluous material. Tightening the story would have done wonders.

So, how did I spend my evening? My current WIP is on the chopping block, cutting and tightening material. Not to mention asking myself, "Does this need to be here? Does it move the story along?"

I want each story to be my best final effort, not my best first effort.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Carpe diem... NASCAR...

...sigh... Carl did not do well. It's been a rough season. Never give up!

What must be done, today:

Laundry.
A bit of transcribing.
Editing. I really need this book to be ready for a final edit after next week. I'm settling into my new understanding of my relationship with my writing, which means becoming comfortable with who I am. I'm not yet, but I'm working on it. I have to be so careful not to get cocky.

This one is courtesy of either FaceBook or the Funny Cats widget:



REAL 2 Nov 2026

Did a little walking. Sleep continues to be good some night and horrible others. Eep, weight is up, thanks to hormones. Pfft. Eating is beco...