I lose weight when...

...I feel safe.

...I sleep well.

...I feel in control.

...I am confident.

...I know there is enough food. From my perspective not what someone else tells me is enough.

...I include comfort foods. See above.

...I exercise on a regular basis.

...I protect myself from the foods to which I'm allergic or sensitive.

...I don't play games with my food, i.e., use it as a reward or a punishment.

I was asked to share a little of my story...

I have a negative tape in my head.

"I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I can't do anything right. I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, good enough. I'm bad. I'm worthless."

It's a lie.

It turns on when I'm tired, when I've made a mistake, when I'm discouraged. Over the years, it has grown in length and intensity.

A few years ago, the Lord blessed me with some amazing friends who helped me stop lying about a lot of things.

But the tape didn't go away.

One of those friends shared the story of her Bible study group when they read Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

What did it mean?

One of the women volunteered to visit a silversmith.

He explained he must heat the silver in the hottest part of the fire in order to burn off the impurities. However, if left too long, the silver would be destroyed. He must watch it every moment.

How did he know when it was ready?

"Oh, that's easy - when I can see my image in it."

God places us in the hottest part of the fire to remove the impurities. He never looks away. Granted, he know we are able to endure a great deal more than we think we can. Even so, He is there every moment, watching, waiting. He will not hold us longer than necessary. He knows we're ready when He is able to see His image in us.

This impacted me. I made many changes in my life.

The concept birthed the idea for The Silver Locket Sisterhood series. When Luck in Love was published, two of my friends gave me my own silver locket. There is a picture of me on one side and Jesus on the other to remind me I belong to Him.

At a writer's conference, (I'm sorry I don't remember who said it or it may have been a note to myself) I penned a note: They (characters) have to be willing to burn who they are in order to become who they want to be.

Was I willing?

The tape didn't go away. I've tried everything to turn it off. Prayer, scripture reading, singing my favorite hymn. Nothing worked. In fact, the tape grew louder.

I grew tired. I quit fighting. I let the tape play. It was familiar and strangely comforting, unlike the new creature I wanted to become. I didn't even know what she was supposed to look like.

Being a bit snarky, I egged the tape on.

"Is that all you've got? Can't you come up with anything else? You've plenty of practice and material, surely you can come up with worse things. You can do better."

The tape was increasingly boring, but it didn't go away.

Writers create "elevator pitches," something to tell a publisher or editor when you manage to catch a couple minutes of their time, or thirty seconds. I never developed the pitch because I sold the series without it. However, I needed something for marketing, business cards, etc.

A friend of my loves yoga and shared an article about mantras.

Yeah, I had one of those. It put me to sleep at night. It was pretty long.

There was the first problem. Mantras are meant to be short, almost boring. Interesting enough to help you focus, but not so interesting it diverts your attention. It's purpose is to bring you back to center.

What was the essence of The Silver Locket Sisterhood series?

I belong to God. I am God's.

Would it work?

"You're ugly."

"Yes, but I belong to God."

"You're stupid."

"Yes, but I belong to God."

"You'll never be good enough. God couldn't want you."

"I am still God's. Should He decide to cast me off, it is His prerogative because I belong to Him to do with as He will. I belong to God."

The Savior bought me with His blood, not only on the cross but in Gethsemane, through the flogging, with the crown of thorns. He paid for me, in full. I am His.

There is no debate. It's done. Finished.

There is nothing we can do that is so horrible we can't turn back to God.

The only question is do I accept Him or turn away?

He never turns away. He is always there, beckoning, His hand stretched out, the hand where He carved His love for us.

If I turn away, I may turn back, and He is there, waiting.

The choice is mine.

He paid the price for each and every one of us.

I belong to God.

I am God's.

Carpe Diem... Michigan...

NASCAR ~ Carl came in 10th. He is still #3 in the Chase. Go Carl!

What needs to be done today?

Blurbs and hooks. Blurbs and hooks. Blurbs and hooks... bah

I also want to work on my plan for the coming year. Should keep me pretty busy. :-)

Home alone time is over. Alas.

Thank Goodness It's Sunday... #168...

~ Time alone.

~ Alone time.

~ Quiet.

~ Peace.

~ Safe.

My Heroes... George Clymer...

George Clymer was orphaned by the time he was seven years old. His uncle took him in and treated him as a son. George wasn't partial to the mercantile business, but it was work. He didn't shirk his duty, but he did study literature and science. He supported the colonies' bid for freedom from the start. He backed up his support with action. His love for literature and science was manifest in the Academy of Arts and Sciences in Philadelphia.

He didn't sit by quietly allowing the world to go on around him. He chose his battleground and stood and fought.

Have I the conviction? The Courage?

Playing catch up...

It's the middle of August. It's hot. Mugginess comes and goes. It's miserable. It's been worse. All things considered, it's been pretty good.

I've been working on blurbs and hooks for my books. Not something I enjoy but necessary.

I've read a bunch of books but few keepers. Disappointing.

It's been a long time since I've had so much trouble with my allergies. They aren't horrible, more nagging, making life more difficult than it needs to be. :-)

Sleep is... weird. Difficult to explain. When I hit tired, it's like the bottom falls out and it doesn't matter what time of day it is. I have to lay down for a while.

I was given a sneak peek at the cover art for Saving Lisa. Carol Fiorillo is a wonderful cover artist.

Week One-Hundred Twelve of REAL...

REAL - Reduce stress Exercise Adequate sleep Lower caloric intake

What Navy SEALs are required to do to make it into BUD/S:

http://navyseal.s5.com/requirements.html

http://military-fitness.military.com/2013/01/the-spartan-300-workout-and-new-variations.html?ESRC=sm_fit.nl

RIght up front: Never in a million years could I do what is required. However, I needed to start somewhere. Considering how fit the SEALs are, I figured it was a good place to start. So my SEAL puppy reps (SEALp) consist of girls' pushups, crunches, and flutter kicks, a SEAL training basic. I started with doing one of each. 

Hip lifts

PT ~ Physical therapy using 2-lb and 1-lb weights, alternating days.

UB ~ Upper body exercises

I've worked up to 50 and then 10 more.

BD ~ Belly dancing (my version of it, anyway)

The 9th: 2-mile walk. SEALp. PT. UB. BD.

Could not stay awake any longer. Crawled into bed at 6 pm. Woke at 9 pm. Went back to sleep. Woke at midnight. Went back to sleep. Woke at 3 am. Went back to sleep. Woke at 4:30 am, and finally decided I could roll out of bed. 10 hours of sleep, after having a 2-hour nap earlier in the day. Don't know what's going on. Stress, yes, but all the sleep is a little unnerving. I don't want to sleep my life away.

The 10th: 3-mile walk. PT. BD. 1/2 hour of yard work. 

The 11th: Rest. Took an allergy pill and did better. My allergies aren't severe, so I don't always notice they're causing me problems.

The 12th: 2-mile walk. SEALp. PT. UB. BD.

The 13th: PT. BD.

The 14th: 2-mile walk. SEALp. PT. UB. BD.

The 15th: PT. BD.

The first picture was taken in February 2012. The second picture was taken in June 2012. Inspiration, at least to me:

A bit of fun...

Something to amuse me because I could use the smile. Sometimes, staying on top of things reminds me what it must be like to walk on a log in a body of water and hoping it doesn't turn faster than the legs can go. Writing is keeping me busy. Stories, blurbs, hooks, sigh... Posted on Funny Cat Photos widget:

What I accomplished...

...almost everything on my list yesterday.

I still hate blurbs. I'm tackling one book a day.

I'm working on stories, truly never-ending stories.

Spaghetti is divvied up into meals for the next week.

Spreadsheet is done.

Character document is done.

Exercise: Done.

Arranged to chat with one of my author friends about self-publishing.

Not much of a nap. Dicey. We'll see how I respond to the lack of sleep. Sometimes, when I'm focused on a project, I'm fine. Did turn in early last night.

One step at a time.

Oh! Luck in Love is a finalist in the Arianna Cover Art Awards in Romance. Brava Carol Fiorillo!

In case you forgot what it looked like:

Carpe Diem... Watkins Glen

NASCAR ~ Carl came in fourth. Whoohoo!! He is third in the Chase. Go Carl!!

What needs to be done?

Rewrites of blurbs. I hate blurbs.

Writing new books.

And I woke at 1:30 a.m. with all kinds of things running through my head:

Spreadsheet for my book sales.

Character document like my blurb document, to keep track of the little things in the stories all in one place. I don't want to accidentally use a name twice kind of thing.

I'm submitting my dog story to an anthology.

I'm making spaghetti.

Yeah, it's going to be a busy day, and there will be a nap in the middle.

Thank Goodness It's Sunday... #167...

~ Reminder to self: https://bible.org/illustration/poem I've loved this poem for years. The Disciplines of Life by V. Raymond Edman

~ Writers who inspire me.

~ Cool (relatively speaking) weather in the early mornings (5 am).

~ P.Croissant with my sister.

~ Short story turned in when promised.