Trust... or not...

I'm always intrigued by God's little "tests" to see where I'm at, at any given point in time. It's usually something really pretty insignificant. This time it was the simple lack of a receipt in a book shipment. I know it's somewhere, but where? Still at the company or in some stranger's shipment? My friend has actually ended up with someone else's receipt in her shipment. Of course, then you think about identity theft. And the mind runs screaming, wildly out of control. I emailed the company, who promptly e'd me back that there wasn't any information but my name and address, so it isn't as if my account can be messed with in any way. I was still uneasy. Then I thought of all the times I've been told, "God will protect you." And I all but shouted back, "Not necessarily!" If I didn't know better, I would have sworn God smiled because I felt the inevitable "Why do you feel that way?" "Because He hasn't in the past." Why change now? I reminded myself that though He didn't protect me, He never, ever abandoned me. He was always there. Then something new occurred to me. God isn't nearly as concerned about what happens to me as He is about what I do about it. What happens on the outside isn't important; it's what happens on the inside that truly matters. I found myself thinking of Job and John the Baptist, both incredibly good men, and look what happened to them. Life happens. God lets it. What am I going to do about it? How will I allow it to impact me? What kind of person will I allow myself to become because of what happens to me? I've always loved Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with us." And as God is wont to do, He neatly tied it all together. Rainer Maria Rilke (she has a poem I loved so much I memorized it) was quoted in one of my gadgets: "The only journey is the journey within."