Friday, April 9, 2021

Brain Dump

Most of my life, I wanted validation. I wasn't crazy. The abuse wasn't my fault. Making my mother happy wasn't my responsibility. I needed validation.

I'm growing and continuing to learn. Validation is part of being a victim. I don't want to stay in victimhood.

I want to believe I'm ready to move on. I've even been practicing.

I've rehearsed so many conversations, setting people straight. Recently, I've increased the habit of asking God what to do, with an open mind to whatever He suggests.

What has come to me clearly is this gentle answer: "Not your responsibility. Not your job. Give to Me."

I've repeatedly said that forgiveness is letting go of my need for revenge and my bitterness. Now, I see that it's also letting go of my need for vindication and validation. Give it all to Him. He'll take care of it.

As long as I'm focused on them or me, my focus isn't on God. 

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