Sharing the Journey is going away...

... or not. The Google Join this Site feature is going away, on March 1, 2012. Thanks, Google. Not. Now that the snarkiness is out of my system, moving on. I'll learn as I go.

Tomorrow, Google will combine all its information it has on you. People ask me why I'm not worried. My brother works for them. They already know everything, or can easily find out. What's the point of worrying about something that's already happened? For those who are not accustomed to such invasiveness, I imagine it's unsettling and frustrating. I can't empathize. I don't get it.

I've lived my life under a microscope, either someone else's or my own. No one tears me apart as well as I do. I try to live my life with the thought in mind "I live in a fish bowl." I understand I can't hide anything from God. God is perfect. God isn't tolerant. At all. He is forgiving, but not tolerant. His expectations are high. I make mistakes, a lot of them. He knows it. I know He knows it.

Have I been judged harshly by others? Are there those who think they have the right? Yep. Then I remind myself God's ways are not man's ways. God's ways cannot be frustrated. God does not make evil good, but He is able to take the evil done, and turn the mess to good for His children.

In JRR Tolkien's The Silmarillian, Iluvatar, The One, creates the Ainur, the Holy Ones, who create the world and all there is through music. One of the Holy Ones, Melkor, is bent on creating discord, and yet no matter how discordant he creates his music, Iluvatar is able to weave it into the fabric to form harmony.

I can live in fear over things I cannot control, or I can LIVE my life. I'm choosing to LIVE MY LIFE.

Happy Leap Day!!

NASCAR is back!

Whoohoo!! After a rain delay, all day Sunday and Monday morning, Monday evening brought the first official race of the season, in Daytona!

Wow! What a start! And the excitement never stopped. The majority of my Fantasy Team was involved in a pileup at one point or another, starting with lap one. Thank you, God, for NASCAR's dedication to safety, because none of them were seriously injured.

The grand stand is packed, even though the race didn't finish until after 1 a.m. Yes, you read it correctly. There was a red flag stop when Montoya slammed into a jet drier, read jet fuel. Again, thank God no one was injured. Montoya was able to walk away, and so was the safety truck driver.

Carl, my favorite driver, started on the pole, and eventually was caught up in one of the pileups. However, he finished eighth. Well done! I was simply glad he finished in one piece. Top ten is great!

Only half my team finished. Wow.

Amazing.

Carpe diem... God bless the fallen...

I have a page dedicated to a list of those military personnel lost since October 2, 2011. Why did I start then? It's the day a young SEAL died, while Andrew lived. Andrew's battle to survive the loss of limbs and multiple other injuries inspired me to stop whining so much about my own physical drawbacks, and try harder to improve my health and pursue the path God has set before me.

Today, many are honoring the seven marines lost in the helicopter accident, last week, but we've lost others recently, as well. They all swore and oath: The wordings of the current oath of enlistment and oath for commissioned officers are as follows:

"I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God." (Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).

This is an oath they understand may require of them the sacrifice of their life to fulfill, and too often doesn't appreciate what they do or why they do it, let alone the sacrifices they make.

Jesus Christ has died for my soul. The military offers to die for my freedom. May God bless them.

Thank Goodness It's Sunday #92

~Chris Tomlin Our God http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4ctnVzO7BM&feature=related

~Ren Faire fun. I bought a Dragon necklace to remind myself to tame and befriend my dragons.

~NASCAR is back! WHOOHOO!! GO CARL!!!

~Feeling better. Thanks God.

~Tylenol and ibuprofen : wonders of science. Thanks God.

My Heroes... Eric Metaxas...

Eric Metaxas is a writer. He wrote AMAZING GRACE: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery, and Bonhoeffer: Pater, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. I've read the latter, but not the former, though it's on my Wish List.

This is a 30 minute video, at YouTube, so yes, it's a time commitment to watch it, but I was touched as a writer and as a lover of his writing. Metaxas was one of the speakers at the National Day of Prayer breakfast, on February 2, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jotOExbddI4

This clip is less than 2 minutes. Eric Metaxas shares a snippet of his his decision to write Bonhoeffer, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gb0xXkXnSs&feature=related

Thanks God....

I know I usually make Sunday my gratitude day, but I needed this today.

Thanks God for friends and family who are supportive. You know who you are.

Thanks God for Starbucks, and the wonder of my Kindle. I turned on the Wireless, and the books I bought this week downloaded, while I enjoyed a hot chocolate and a chocolate croissant. Yummy. It was a wonderful break.

Thanks God for protecting me from some of the nutty drivers out there.

Thanks God for the new start to another season of NASCAR.

Thanks God for help with working on my writing.

Thanks God for helping me feel better. I'm not back up to where I was before I became sick, but I am so much better than I was on Monday, when it was growing tough to make it through five more minutes.

Thanks God for helping me sleep better.

Thanks God for eye candy. :-D

Thanks God for those who share their stories, inspiring me and lifting me, even when their stories are difficult and painful.

Thanks God for the laughter and the peace.

Thanks God for warm memories of my babies. I miss them. For those who don't know me well, I was loved by a dog and a horse.

Thanks God for those who serve with honor and courage.

Thanks God for heroes. Please bless the families of those killed in the line of duty.

Week Thirty-Five of REAL...

The 17th: weigh in: 229.6 lb. Increase 10%. SEAL puppy reps up to 13. Two-mile walk, in 38 minutes. Another SEAL puppy rep. Physical therapy 39 or 3/13 with 1-lb weights.

The 18th: weigh in: 229.8 lb. Two-mile walk, with my sister. It's for fun. Please, God, get me through the next few days without any major slip ups, since my brain will be on vacation for the next few days. Thanks.

The 19th: weigh in: 229.4 lb.

The 20th: weigh in: 230 lb. SEAL puppy rep. No walk, today, as much as I would have preferred it, the body simply isn't up to it. Another SEAL puppy rep. Physical therapy, done. A new brain, please? No luck? Okay. I'll keep working with what I have.

The 21st: weigh in 228.8 lb. Not celebrating the weight loss, since it's more due to eating very little than anything else.

The 22nd: weigh in: 228.2 lb. SEAL puppy rep. Short walk around the house. SEAL puppy rep. Physical therapy. Back is sore from so much lying down. Yes, finding myself between a rock and a hard place. Not feeling well enough to stay up, but in so much pain the only way to relieve it is to lie down. Talk about a Catch 22.

The 23rd: weigh in: 228.8 lb. Waist circumference:39". Wow.... I slipped into a jeans skirt I've never been able to wear before. I'm noticing hairstyles when I watch programs, and I'm trying them. It's... fun. Now, if only my body would pull itself together. I'm endeavoring to do what is within my power, but it truly is out of my hands. Sigh. Dear God, I've done all I know how to do. It's in Your hands now.

Inspiration, at least to me:

Your past doesn't define you. Let it go...

Still not up to snuff...

...so to speak. So, we're having a commercial break:

If you only attend one conference this year, Desert Dreams is the one.

Why? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flYALSZdmDk&feature=youtu.be

Register at http://www.desertroserwa.org

Not a good day....

Not seeing well. Not feeling well. Something I ate a few days ago is tearing apart my insides. Food allergies are such a pain, in every way. I'm hungry, but afraid to eat much of anything. Once it's through my system, I should be back to normal. Hopefully, it's today. One of those days when I really wish I could crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. No chance. Too much to do. Please, God, tomorrow will be better.

A bit of dark humor:

Carpe diem... make it through the day...

Yes, that is today's main goal: Make it through the day. Yesterday and today are the worst of the monthly cycle, so the central goal is to make it through without anything catastrophic. Okay, that's melodramatic, however appropriate for the moodiness. How's this: The goal is to make it through without losing it, screwing up, or falling completely apart.

Laundry needs to be done.

I don't care how rotten I feel, I am doing my workout.

Cheeseburger for lunch. Maybe I'll do French fries, too, and a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

Read. I'm going to read. Because I enjoy it.

Okay, I'll pull out the project I need to work on. I don't know if I'll actually do anything, but I'll at least pretend like I'm doing something about it.

I'm out of my mind.

Perhaps no real progress will be made, but if I don't find myself slipping backward, I'll consider it a successful day.

It's only Monday...

Thank Goodness It's Sunday #91

~Mercy Me Word of God Speak http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYu8ZyETnKo&feature=fvst

~Remarkable friends who inspire me. Yep, I find myself adding this every week. I have awesome friends.

~I'm only brainless once a month for a few days. It used to be more often and last longer.

~Learning to take care of myself, becoming healthier.

~Laughter.

Thanks God, for all those things and so much more.

NASCAR season is starting again!! Go Carl!!!