Day Six: Embracing Common Sense
This is something I've been working on for quite some time now, though this provided a bit of fine tuning.
I went walking with friends, did laundry, and have been catching up on some reading. Unfortunately, my brain isn't quite back from its vacation. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day in that regard.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Thank Goodness It's Sunday #43 and The 7 Day Pledge... Day 5
~Today's 7 assignment correlated perfectly with my Sunday theme of gratitude. This has been an amazing journey.
~GO CARL!! Carl Edwards won in Las Vegas, today. YAY!!
~Chris, my Christmas cactus, is blooming beautifully. And my other three plants are also still alive. Amazing.
~My internet connection is wonderfully normal.
~Books that make me smile and laugh.
~GO CARL!! Carl Edwards won in Las Vegas, today. YAY!!
~Chris, my Christmas cactus, is blooming beautifully. And my other three plants are also still alive. Amazing.
~My internet connection is wonderfully normal.
~Books that make me smile and laugh.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The 7 Day Pledge... Day 4
Day Four: Embracing Compassion
This one expands on things I wrote yesterday. This is one I've been working on for a long time, but I'm not quite there yet in some regards. Interestingly enough, I realized that I've embraced it fully in some ways, and this applies to me in still other ways.
Another step toward my goals: I was a little more careful about my calorie intake today than I was yesterday. The Bread People were going door to door, today, and though I said no at first, I allowed myself to change my mind and buy a loaf because I wanted to encourage them in their dream. I also doubled check what the protocol would be for meeting up with my mentor.
As for breadcrumbs, I was chatting with my sister and made some observations, out loud, including re-affirming ones.
This one expands on things I wrote yesterday. This is one I've been working on for a long time, but I'm not quite there yet in some regards. Interestingly enough, I realized that I've embraced it fully in some ways, and this applies to me in still other ways.
Another step toward my goals: I was a little more careful about my calorie intake today than I was yesterday. The Bread People were going door to door, today, and though I said no at first, I allowed myself to change my mind and buy a loaf because I wanted to encourage them in their dream. I also doubled check what the protocol would be for meeting up with my mentor.
As for breadcrumbs, I was chatting with my sister and made some observations, out loud, including re-affirming ones.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The 7 Day Pledge... Day 3
Embracing the Truth
This concept is so incredibly huge for me. I grew up drowning in lies of one kind or another. It has only been the last few years that I have finally stopped lying, especially to myself. It's harder than most people are willing to admit. There are a lot of times when lying is simply easier. You're familiar with those: How are you? Fine. When, in fact, you're feeling awful because you received bad news, someone disappointed you, you skipped breakfast, you haven't exercised in weeks, yep, the list is pretty endless, but you don't say any of that; you only say "Fine." Sometimes that's a perfectly acceptable answer, but a lot of times it isn't. On the other side, there is the truth of asking "How are you?" Do you really want to know? Or is it simply another way of saying "Hello?" I'm working on it.
It was a pleasant surprise to realize that because of the effort I have been putting into trying to recognize the truth the exercises for this section weren't as difficult as they would have been if I'd done this exercise a few years ago. The assignment is to identify the shields I use to keep the truth at bay.
a) Eating
b) Sociophobic
c) Dated guys and had friends that took me for granted.
d) Shopping
e) Television
It wasn't asked, but I like to explore why those things are shields. If I understand the why, then I have a better understanding of what I need to change in my thinking.
a) I want to be hidden. People don't look at people who are fat. It's like you're invisible. I didn't want to be noticed. If I wasn't noticed, then I didn't have to worry about being taken advantage of or teased or belittled.
b) What if I make a mistake in public and make a fool of myself? Then everyone will know how stupid I am; they'll see how unattractive I am. If I'm not in a group, then total strangers can't come up to me and tell me about this wonderful acne treatment they know about, thus leaving me with the feeling that all they noticed about me was my acne.
c) If they took me for granted, then it didn't matter that they didn't really know me because I couldn't reveal myself to anyone. I'd been molded and shaped beyond any recognition even to myself. If they took me for granted, then I didn't have to admit that they didn't know me because I didn't know what to tell them. It was their fault.
d) Shopping proves I'm not poor. Stupid logic, I know. I don't feel poor if I'm surrounded by things that I've chosen for myself that no one can take away from me because I bought them with my own money.
e) Mindless escape, simple, straightforward. I don't have to think about anything, especially the fact that I'm not sure what's the truth and what's a lie.
The next exercise is to "Decide exactly how you'll begin to lower your shields."
a) Reduce the number of calories I eat, every day.
b) After a few years of pestering, I finally met a friend one of my other friend's had been nudging me to meet.
c) I stopped dating.
d) Stay within my budget.
e) Not turn on the television some days.
Yes, I'm already doing these, but some I started only recently. I stopped dating years ago because I knew I didn't know how to maintain healthy boundaries, among other things. But taking ownership of the decision means I can't complain about it anymore. It's my choice, my decision, and I'm allowed to change my mind later, though never to return to the old habits. Television is one that comes and goes in my life. I've done zero television and constant television, for varying reasons. I feel the most in control when I keep my television watching limited only to what I really want to watch. Music is a better choice if I simply want some "noise" in the background.
The rest of the exercises were about writing letters, and I'm not ready to share those, though to be truthful, I didn't learn anything I didn't know already regarding what was written. I will share that it asks if there were an experience or series of experiences that occurred before I was 18 that I could edit out, what would it be: The abuse. I'm not sure they meant something so... huge. But they asked.
This concept is so incredibly huge for me. I grew up drowning in lies of one kind or another. It has only been the last few years that I have finally stopped lying, especially to myself. It's harder than most people are willing to admit. There are a lot of times when lying is simply easier. You're familiar with those: How are you? Fine. When, in fact, you're feeling awful because you received bad news, someone disappointed you, you skipped breakfast, you haven't exercised in weeks, yep, the list is pretty endless, but you don't say any of that; you only say "Fine." Sometimes that's a perfectly acceptable answer, but a lot of times it isn't. On the other side, there is the truth of asking "How are you?" Do you really want to know? Or is it simply another way of saying "Hello?" I'm working on it.
It was a pleasant surprise to realize that because of the effort I have been putting into trying to recognize the truth the exercises for this section weren't as difficult as they would have been if I'd done this exercise a few years ago. The assignment is to identify the shields I use to keep the truth at bay.
a) Eating
b) Sociophobic
c) Dated guys and had friends that took me for granted.
d) Shopping
e) Television
It wasn't asked, but I like to explore why those things are shields. If I understand the why, then I have a better understanding of what I need to change in my thinking.
a) I want to be hidden. People don't look at people who are fat. It's like you're invisible. I didn't want to be noticed. If I wasn't noticed, then I didn't have to worry about being taken advantage of or teased or belittled.
b) What if I make a mistake in public and make a fool of myself? Then everyone will know how stupid I am; they'll see how unattractive I am. If I'm not in a group, then total strangers can't come up to me and tell me about this wonderful acne treatment they know about, thus leaving me with the feeling that all they noticed about me was my acne.
c) If they took me for granted, then it didn't matter that they didn't really know me because I couldn't reveal myself to anyone. I'd been molded and shaped beyond any recognition even to myself. If they took me for granted, then I didn't have to admit that they didn't know me because I didn't know what to tell them. It was their fault.
d) Shopping proves I'm not poor. Stupid logic, I know. I don't feel poor if I'm surrounded by things that I've chosen for myself that no one can take away from me because I bought them with my own money.
e) Mindless escape, simple, straightforward. I don't have to think about anything, especially the fact that I'm not sure what's the truth and what's a lie.
The next exercise is to "Decide exactly how you'll begin to lower your shields."
a) Reduce the number of calories I eat, every day.
b) After a few years of pestering, I finally met a friend one of my other friend's had been nudging me to meet.
c) I stopped dating.
d) Stay within my budget.
e) Not turn on the television some days.
Yes, I'm already doing these, but some I started only recently. I stopped dating years ago because I knew I didn't know how to maintain healthy boundaries, among other things. But taking ownership of the decision means I can't complain about it anymore. It's my choice, my decision, and I'm allowed to change my mind later, though never to return to the old habits. Television is one that comes and goes in my life. I've done zero television and constant television, for varying reasons. I feel the most in control when I keep my television watching limited only to what I really want to watch. Music is a better choice if I simply want some "noise" in the background.
The rest of the exercises were about writing letters, and I'm not ready to share those, though to be truthful, I didn't learn anything I didn't know already regarding what was written. I will share that it asks if there were an experience or series of experiences that occurred before I was 18 that I could edit out, what would it be: The abuse. I'm not sure they meant something so... huge. But they asked.
Thank God for blessings...
I was very nervous about having the cable guy come, especially as I am here alone. My past has taught me well to be incredibly paranoid. Then I reminded myself that in The 7 it is drummed in that people come into your life for a reason. Things happen for a reason. I turned it over to God. The cable guy was very polite, and I wasn't uncomfortable. He had to replace the original cable. It was nine years old, having survived nine summers. Thank you!
I had been thinking that it would be nice to have my mentor soon, so I could start moving forward. I was emailed, today. Donna Hatch is my mentor, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I almost cried. She's a very sweet person, and I love her books. Another step taken.
I'm feeling blessed.
I had been thinking that it would be nice to have my mentor soon, so I could start moving forward. I was emailed, today. Donna Hatch is my mentor, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I almost cried. She's a very sweet person, and I love her books. Another step taken.
I'm feeling blessed.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The 7 Day Pledge... Day 2
I did not read today's focus until after my Murphy's Law post.
Day 2: Embracing Faith.
Yes, God carefully prepared me for this one.
Assignment 1-2: Envision yourself as the changed person you hope to become. That wasn't easy, at first. However, the stipulation was to do it for fifteen minutes. I discovered some interesting things in this exercise that I didn't expect. Then I was to think about how someone who loves me would support me. That was easy. I've already received a lot of encouragement and support from a number of friends. Done. "Now, let that person drift out of your mind, and picture yourself in his or her place." Smack! LOL! That always seemed so hard, and suddenly it's so easy.
3) Create a "Breadcrumbs List." I have reams of paper, literally. Only today, I stored five full notebooks of Frodo and Lily's story. A half million words. Ummm... yea, I'm a writer. There are other things I'd like to do, but I need a little more income. Hmmm... I actually had a lot of work from my lone doctor's office. God bless 'em! Only last week, I had someone tell me I should be a writer, unsolicited. Today, as I talked to Mike, my Schwan's guy (ex *sniff*), he smiled and assured me I'd do it. I fluffed it because I didn't expect such support. It wasn't until after he left that I realized that I had the same animation talking about my writing as I used to have when I talked about my horse. It's all in God's hands. I think I want to make a list on pretty paper, to keep and add to as new breadcrumbs appear in my life. There is something about... wait, this comes back to me wanting to be pro-active instead of only reactive.
More envisioning the future, and I'm doing a little better following through on the exercise. Then I was to tell one more person what I would become if I could become anything in the world. Hmmm... tougher. I emailed one and told her about some dreams I hadn't really planned until today. But it was related to my central goal. If I could be anything I want? That's a little tougher. There are so many things I'd like to do. That being said, now that I've read through this post, my first thought was "be a writer." So the other things are things I'd like to do as well but not instead of, an important clarification.
6) Pray to become the person you were meant to be from all time. I've done this before. It didn't turn out well. Of course, I've also done the visualizing before, too, and it didn't turn out well either. The difference? I had a lot of lies I had to discard and clear out of my life. "If you start with a lie, it doesn't matter how many truths you pile on top of it; it's still a lie." I said that. It's in The Project, the chapter about Truth.
7) Take another step. I opened The Project and added some thoughts I'd jotted down on paper.
P.S. I know Mike doesn't read this, but there's no other way to say, "Sorry I called you a poor child, when you told me how far you had to drive. You aren't a child." I do that sometimes. I think it's to put distance between myself and someone who makes me feel uncomfortable simply because they are nice to me. I grew up with people that I should have been able to trust being nice to me in order to "get close enough" to cause the most damage, which was mostly verbal. Dear God, how do I ever stop those ugly habits?
Day 2: Embracing Faith.
Yes, God carefully prepared me for this one.
Assignment 1-2: Envision yourself as the changed person you hope to become. That wasn't easy, at first. However, the stipulation was to do it for fifteen minutes. I discovered some interesting things in this exercise that I didn't expect. Then I was to think about how someone who loves me would support me. That was easy. I've already received a lot of encouragement and support from a number of friends. Done. "Now, let that person drift out of your mind, and picture yourself in his or her place." Smack! LOL! That always seemed so hard, and suddenly it's so easy.
3) Create a "Breadcrumbs List." I have reams of paper, literally. Only today, I stored five full notebooks of Frodo and Lily's story. A half million words. Ummm... yea, I'm a writer. There are other things I'd like to do, but I need a little more income. Hmmm... I actually had a lot of work from my lone doctor's office. God bless 'em! Only last week, I had someone tell me I should be a writer, unsolicited. Today, as I talked to Mike, my Schwan's guy (ex *sniff*), he smiled and assured me I'd do it. I fluffed it because I didn't expect such support. It wasn't until after he left that I realized that I had the same animation talking about my writing as I used to have when I talked about my horse. It's all in God's hands. I think I want to make a list on pretty paper, to keep and add to as new breadcrumbs appear in my life. There is something about... wait, this comes back to me wanting to be pro-active instead of only reactive.
More envisioning the future, and I'm doing a little better following through on the exercise. Then I was to tell one more person what I would become if I could become anything in the world. Hmmm... tougher. I emailed one and told her about some dreams I hadn't really planned until today. But it was related to my central goal. If I could be anything I want? That's a little tougher. There are so many things I'd like to do. That being said, now that I've read through this post, my first thought was "be a writer." So the other things are things I'd like to do as well but not instead of, an important clarification.
6) Pray to become the person you were meant to be from all time. I've done this before. It didn't turn out well. Of course, I've also done the visualizing before, too, and it didn't turn out well either. The difference? I had a lot of lies I had to discard and clear out of my life. "If you start with a lie, it doesn't matter how many truths you pile on top of it; it's still a lie." I said that. It's in The Project, the chapter about Truth.
7) Take another step. I opened The Project and added some thoughts I'd jotted down on paper.
P.S. I know Mike doesn't read this, but there's no other way to say, "Sorry I called you a poor child, when you told me how far you had to drive. You aren't a child." I do that sometimes. I think it's to put distance between myself and someone who makes me feel uncomfortable simply because they are nice to me. I grew up with people that I should have been able to trust being nice to me in order to "get close enough" to cause the most damage, which was mostly verbal. Dear God, how do I ever stop those ugly habits?
But wait, there's more...
My Schwan's guy is being changed out! I know, it's a little thing, but it is one more thing. Bless the man, he listened to my tale of woe and empathized and encouraged. May God bless him. I'll miss him! I know there are those that think, "What? You order from Schwan's?!" Only my meat, and not very much of it, once a month. My hamburgers are irradiated, which I like. I found the meat keeps better than anything I've purchased in the store and tastes better, especially fish! Yes, I really did do the comparison. I miss being able to buy their treats and pizza and easy meals for one. Schwan's taught me portion sizes and how to cook meat, so yes, I budget a little of the grocery money for Schwan's.
Now, amid all this doom and gloom, I was blessed with a lot more work than usual from my lone doctor. Thank you, God! I don't want to be greedy, but more would be very much appreciated.
In case you're wondering about all the posts here, since I don't usually more than one a day, if that, I'm endeavoring to have a more fully encompassing picture of the journey I'm making with The 7, and saving it all for one post means I'd edit, a lot. This is my proof to myself that I'm not simply pretending to be trying to change.
Now, amid all this doom and gloom, I was blessed with a lot more work than usual from my lone doctor. Thank you, God! I don't want to be greedy, but more would be very much appreciated.
In case you're wondering about all the posts here, since I don't usually more than one a day, if that, I'm endeavoring to have a more fully encompassing picture of the journey I'm making with The 7, and saving it all for one post means I'd edit, a lot. This is my proof to myself that I'm not simply pretending to be trying to change.
Murphy's Law...
"Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment." Murphy was an optimist.
My career is essentially over. Every person I know in my field is either losing their work or have already lost it. We all have to find a completely new career path. I have one doctor left, but he will retire a few years earlier than planned because of all the new regulations. I'm grateful that I have a few years left with him, but it isn't enough to live on without dipping into savings. Thank you, God, for reminding me that it's okay to mourn this loss, and please bless me with the courage to follow the path You seem to have set before me.
It's that time of the month, two weeks late. Almost as if my body were waiting for the most vulnerable moment. Thank you, God, for blessing me with a sense of humor, and please God, simply help me make it through without being completely unreasonable.
My internet connection goes down, almost every day. Only for a minute or two, though the time grows longer each day, until I call COX and their automated system resets everything. Called COX, and they're sending someone out, tomorrow. I have to re-arrange my room, so they have access. I bought a brand new modem from the last COX tech that came out, in December. They'll have to check the connections and the wiring, but if it's the wiring in the house, it will cost me. I've been with COX for nine years, and right now, I'm thinking of switching providers. I do have to have the internet, for work and for my sanity. Thank you, God, for the wonder of the internet, and how it connects me to my friends, and please, God, provide a secure connection that I don't have to worry about for a while.
My phone battery is dying. I'm now having to recharge every few days instead of once a week, so it's going to mean a trip to the phone store soon. Hopefully, it won't cost anything to replace it, or very little. Thank you, God, for the phone that connects me to friends, and please God, I need something that costs the same or even a little bit less expensive.
And I simply can't afford to go to L.A., this month, not without a secure source of income anywhere in sight, not in good conscience. I think this makes me want to cry more than anything else. It's my opportunity to recharge and re-center myself. It's a terrible thing being fiscally responsible. I'm going to have to figure out another way to recharge that doesn't cost anything, but I plan to go in the fall. Thank you, God, for all the wonderful trips, in the past, and please God, I'll have a viable income soon so I can resume traveling the places I want to visit, including L.A., Tampa, ALEP, and... so many friends to visit!
Do I see a pattern? Oh, yes, I do. I've decided to step out in faith, and my world seems to explode. It's a familiar pattern. If Job can live through it, so can I. Please God, no boils. I think the monthly curse is quite enough. And please, God, shore up my courage. I'll settle for a clear mind in a few days. Life is what it is, and I know my shortcomings. God knows them, too, and how to work around them, so to speak. Thanks God.
My career is essentially over. Every person I know in my field is either losing their work or have already lost it. We all have to find a completely new career path. I have one doctor left, but he will retire a few years earlier than planned because of all the new regulations. I'm grateful that I have a few years left with him, but it isn't enough to live on without dipping into savings. Thank you, God, for reminding me that it's okay to mourn this loss, and please bless me with the courage to follow the path You seem to have set before me.
It's that time of the month, two weeks late. Almost as if my body were waiting for the most vulnerable moment. Thank you, God, for blessing me with a sense of humor, and please God, simply help me make it through without being completely unreasonable.
My internet connection goes down, almost every day. Only for a minute or two, though the time grows longer each day, until I call COX and their automated system resets everything. Called COX, and they're sending someone out, tomorrow. I have to re-arrange my room, so they have access. I bought a brand new modem from the last COX tech that came out, in December. They'll have to check the connections and the wiring, but if it's the wiring in the house, it will cost me. I've been with COX for nine years, and right now, I'm thinking of switching providers. I do have to have the internet, for work and for my sanity. Thank you, God, for the wonder of the internet, and how it connects me to my friends, and please, God, provide a secure connection that I don't have to worry about for a while.
My phone battery is dying. I'm now having to recharge every few days instead of once a week, so it's going to mean a trip to the phone store soon. Hopefully, it won't cost anything to replace it, or very little. Thank you, God, for the phone that connects me to friends, and please God, I need something that costs the same or even a little bit less expensive.
And I simply can't afford to go to L.A., this month, not without a secure source of income anywhere in sight, not in good conscience. I think this makes me want to cry more than anything else. It's my opportunity to recharge and re-center myself. It's a terrible thing being fiscally responsible. I'm going to have to figure out another way to recharge that doesn't cost anything, but I plan to go in the fall. Thank you, God, for all the wonderful trips, in the past, and please God, I'll have a viable income soon so I can resume traveling the places I want to visit, including L.A., Tampa, ALEP, and... so many friends to visit!
Do I see a pattern? Oh, yes, I do. I've decided to step out in faith, and my world seems to explode. It's a familiar pattern. If Job can live through it, so can I. Please God, no boils. I think the monthly curse is quite enough. And please, God, shore up my courage. I'll settle for a clear mind in a few days. Life is what it is, and I know my shortcomings. God knows them, too, and how to work around them, so to speak. Thanks God.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The 7 Day Pledge... Day 1 Follow Up
Day One: Inviting Courage into Your Life Questions ~ I almost feel like I'm cheating. I read The 7 back in January. Because of it, I was already making changes in my life, so several of these questions have been answered over the past month.
1. Why have I taken this step toward change? My life is changing. God opened the door and pushed. He does that sometimes, when I stubbornly hang onto what I perceive as safe. I can be re-active, which is what I've been, for the most part of my life, or I can be pro-active. I want to be pro-active.
What, exactly, do I want to change, create, or conquer? I've decided to treat these as separate goals that are tied together. Change ~ My body! Create ~ Career! Conquer ~ My fear of success. Interesting. When I answered that question the first time, I wrote that I wanted to conquer my past, which is true, but I think that will be a natural outcome with pursuing the other goals.
2. What does one person who is close to me think I could do to substantially improve my existence? Actually several people, friends and acquaintances, have all encouraged me to pursue my writing.
3. What might be my first step small step, or first few small steps, toward achieving the change I want? Watching my calorie intake. I did a re-write of the inspirational historical romance that made me a PRO four years ago, readying it for submission to a publisher. Signed up for the mentor program, provided through Desert Rose, the local Romance Writers of America chapter, to help prep my manuscript and synopsis.
4. How will it cause me discomfort to take this first step or steps? Afraid of failure. I'm afraid of people who should be supportive being negative. I don't mean critical; I mean negative, ie, you can't do that; you'll never make any money doing that (which is kind of rich considering the fact that I'm not making money now); you should choose _______ something else. I really resent that people who have known me such a long time have so little respect for me or faith in me that they feel they have to question every decision as though I haven't already agonized over it. I'm afraid that the truth will hurt others. What if I'm not good enough? What if I start stuffing again because someone notices I'm losing weight? What if I'm noticed? Will I be safe? Which is a really stupid worry considering the fact that I have never been safe in my life. The closest I ever came was when I owned a dog, who was not my guard or protecter but was my early warning system so I could be on guard and protect us. But I'm supposed to express all my worries, and that's definitely one of them.
5. Am I willing to experience the pain I've described - whether self-doubt or anxiety or low mood or the criticism of others? When I read that question my first thought is NO! But since I've already started, then clearly, by my actions, the answer is YES. Now that I think about it, I admit that I'm surprised, pleasantly so.
6. Who will I tell about the step or steps I intend to take to begin changing my life? When I first started the re-write I told my dearest friends, my sister, then my Desert Rose friends, a few more friends, and now here, for anyone who wants to know. No more hiding.
7. Are you really ready to take your first step or few steps? Yes. Feels good to be able say I'm doing it rather than I'm going to do it.
1. Why have I taken this step toward change? My life is changing. God opened the door and pushed. He does that sometimes, when I stubbornly hang onto what I perceive as safe. I can be re-active, which is what I've been, for the most part of my life, or I can be pro-active. I want to be pro-active.
What, exactly, do I want to change, create, or conquer? I've decided to treat these as separate goals that are tied together. Change ~ My body! Create ~ Career! Conquer ~ My fear of success. Interesting. When I answered that question the first time, I wrote that I wanted to conquer my past, which is true, but I think that will be a natural outcome with pursuing the other goals.
2. What does one person who is close to me think I could do to substantially improve my existence? Actually several people, friends and acquaintances, have all encouraged me to pursue my writing.
3. What might be my first step small step, or first few small steps, toward achieving the change I want? Watching my calorie intake. I did a re-write of the inspirational historical romance that made me a PRO four years ago, readying it for submission to a publisher. Signed up for the mentor program, provided through Desert Rose, the local Romance Writers of America chapter, to help prep my manuscript and synopsis.
4. How will it cause me discomfort to take this first step or steps? Afraid of failure. I'm afraid of people who should be supportive being negative. I don't mean critical; I mean negative, ie, you can't do that; you'll never make any money doing that (which is kind of rich considering the fact that I'm not making money now); you should choose _______ something else. I really resent that people who have known me such a long time have so little respect for me or faith in me that they feel they have to question every decision as though I haven't already agonized over it. I'm afraid that the truth will hurt others. What if I'm not good enough? What if I start stuffing again because someone notices I'm losing weight? What if I'm noticed? Will I be safe? Which is a really stupid worry considering the fact that I have never been safe in my life. The closest I ever came was when I owned a dog, who was not my guard or protecter but was my early warning system so I could be on guard and protect us. But I'm supposed to express all my worries, and that's definitely one of them.
5. Am I willing to experience the pain I've described - whether self-doubt or anxiety or low mood or the criticism of others? When I read that question my first thought is NO! But since I've already started, then clearly, by my actions, the answer is YES. Now that I think about it, I admit that I'm surprised, pleasantly so.
6. Who will I tell about the step or steps I intend to take to begin changing my life? When I first started the re-write I told my dearest friends, my sister, then my Desert Rose friends, a few more friends, and now here, for anyone who wants to know. No more hiding.
7. Are you really ready to take your first step or few steps? Yes. Feels good to be able say I'm doing it rather than I'm going to do it.
The 7 Day Pledge... Day 1
The 7
With my main source of income now a thing of the past, I've decided to accept that this is a breadcrumb, a hint to a path I need to follow. I have other projects in the works right now, but I'm also feeling a little overwhelmed and unsure of myself regarding them or actually I'm feeling really unsure about my future. Considering the fact that I was laid off, yesterday, and the 7 Day Pledge came out, today... I don't believe in coincidence; I do believe in God incidence. I am willing to share the journey here, so here we go.
There are seven questions to be studied and answered. I'll come back tonight and post them. I'm looking forward to The Adventure.
With my main source of income now a thing of the past, I've decided to accept that this is a breadcrumb, a hint to a path I need to follow. I have other projects in the works right now, but I'm also feeling a little overwhelmed and unsure of myself regarding them or actually I'm feeling really unsure about my future. Considering the fact that I was laid off, yesterday, and the 7 Day Pledge came out, today... I don't believe in coincidence; I do believe in God incidence. I am willing to share the journey here, so here we go.
There are seven questions to be studied and answered. I'll come back tonight and post them. I'm looking forward to The Adventure.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
From The Blog at The Blaze...
Rabbi Daniel Lapin shares his article "The Bible Enshrines the Title Deeds of Western Civilization." He states clearly many things I knew but hadn't pieced together before, at least not this clearly.
David Barton shares "Preparing for the Unknown." A timely article for me since my main client has laid me off, thanks to the new medical regulations. Bitter, much? I'm trying not to be, but I am scared. I feel very blessed indeed that last year I did lay in store a variety of things. I'm going to have to dip into savings for a few things but not much. Sometimes, God puts us on a new path whether we want it or not. So, I'm endeavoring to put my trust in God... actually, I truly do trust God, with my life. The question is what will He require of me?
The Blaze
David Barton shares "Preparing for the Unknown." A timely article for me since my main client has laid me off, thanks to the new medical regulations. Bitter, much? I'm trying not to be, but I am scared. I feel very blessed indeed that last year I did lay in store a variety of things. I'm going to have to dip into savings for a few things but not much. Sometimes, God puts us on a new path whether we want it or not. So, I'm endeavoring to put my trust in God... actually, I truly do trust God, with my life. The question is what will He require of me?
The Blaze
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