The 7 Day Pledge... Day 1 Follow Up

Day One: Inviting Courage into Your Life Questions ~ I almost feel like I'm cheating. I read The 7 back in January. Because of it, I was already making changes in my life, so several of these questions have been answered over the past month.

1. Why have I taken this step toward change? My life is changing. God opened the door and pushed. He does that sometimes, when I stubbornly hang onto what I perceive as safe. I can be re-active, which is what I've been, for the most part of my life, or I can be pro-active. I want to be pro-active.

What, exactly, do I want to change, create, or conquer? I've decided to treat these as separate goals that are tied together. Change ~ My body! Create ~ Career! Conquer ~ My fear of success. Interesting. When I answered that question the first time, I wrote that I wanted to conquer my past, which is true, but I think that will be a natural outcome with pursuing the other goals.

2. What does one person who is close to me think I could do to substantially improve my existence? Actually several people, friends and acquaintances, have all encouraged me to pursue my writing.

3. What might be my first step small step, or first few small steps, toward achieving the change I want? Watching my calorie intake. I did a re-write of the inspirational historical romance that made me a PRO four years ago, readying it for submission to a publisher. Signed up for the mentor program, provided through Desert Rose, the local Romance Writers of America chapter, to help prep my manuscript and synopsis.

4. How will it cause me discomfort to take this first step or steps? Afraid of failure. I'm afraid of people who should be supportive being negative. I don't mean critical; I mean negative, ie, you can't do that; you'll never make any money doing that (which is kind of rich considering the fact that I'm not making money now); you should choose _______ something else. I really resent that people who have known me such a long time have so little respect for me or faith in me that they feel they have to question every decision as though I haven't already agonized over it. I'm afraid that the truth will hurt others. What if I'm not good enough? What if I start stuffing again because someone notices I'm losing weight? What if I'm noticed? Will I be safe? Which is a really stupid worry considering the fact that I have never been safe in my life. The closest I ever came was when I owned a dog, who was not my guard or protecter but was my early warning system so I could be on guard and protect us. But I'm supposed to express all my worries, and that's definitely one of them.

5. Am I willing to experience the pain I've described - whether self-doubt or anxiety or low mood or the criticism of others? When I read that question my first thought is NO! But since I've already started, then clearly, by my actions, the answer is YES. Now that I think about it, I admit that I'm surprised, pleasantly so.

6. Who will I tell about the step or steps I intend to take to begin changing my life? When I first started the re-write I told my dearest friends, my sister, then my Desert Rose friends, a few more friends, and now here, for anyone who wants to know. No more hiding.

7. Are you really ready to take your first step or few steps? Yes. Feels good to be able say I'm doing it rather than I'm going to do it.