Brain Dump...

Finally adding my 50 cents worth about 50 Shades of Gray as it's being touted as a Valentine movie.

I've referred to it as "50 Shades of Gray : Normalizing abuse." On FB, I saw a poster that said: "50 Shades of Abuse Romanticized." It included a list of 10 signs of an abusive relationship for women looking to escape domestic violence, and all 10 signs are portrayed in the book as "love." The person who created the poster suggested that instead of seeing the movie donate the cost of the ticket to a local domestic violence shelter.

No, I haven't read the book. I've heard about it from people who have (some loved it and some didn't, so I heard a cross section). I've read reviews. Passages have been posted on line. The poor writing was only the beginning of my reasons for dismissing the book as unworthy of my time. The main reason: Hurting someone is not romantic.

Being a romance writer, yes, I've read a wide range of material to figure out where I fit in, from erotica to Amish (never thought you'd see those two things in the same sentence, did you). I also had to deal with the skewed view of being a sexual abuse survivor. It was comforting to learn that I really do write Christian romance.

I've also read an excellent analysis by two Christian women: One did not read the book, Dannah Gresh. One did, Dr. Juli Slattery. They wrote a fascinating book, Pulling Back the Shades. They approached their analysis without the need to bash but to simply point out how the book is not in keeping with Bible teachings. Dr. Slattery was also able to give the perspective of working with abuse survivors. For me, their book also helped me better appreciate the valuable role of being a woman. It's a keeper.

Having been in abusive relationships, though gratefully none as bad as what's portrayed in 50, all I can honestly says is:

Congratulations on proving how duplicitous too many women can be. Women scream they want to be treated with respect and then praise a book that is disrespectful of women and men and the sacred relationship between them. They demand to be treated with compassion and swoon over being abused. They want a man who cherishes them and idolize a man who uses them. They scream about domestic violence and pant for it within the pages of a book. They complain about being hurt but desire it "in the right context."

How incredibly insane that sounds.

Do you really want to know what love is? What romance looks like?

http://www.richardpaulevans.com/saved-marriage/