Food... warning, rant ahead...

Writing about it, so it's out of my head. I'm watching the banning of foods, the crying over food deserts, the "concern" for overweight individuals, and the idiocy that is stemming from those who think they have the power to fix others, especially when they are still imperfect themselves. They think that if they limit food choices, the problem will be solved. They think that if everyone would simply listen to them, all the problems would be solved. The arrogance in such thinking is appalling. News Flash: There is no one thing that will solve obesity, except maybe the return of Christ to the earth. Really. Being overweight is a myriad of problems. Weight, either over or under, is a symptom not a problem in and of itself. They drone on and on about eating healthy. Everyone should eat healthy, but by whose standards? I've complained before that every diet book I've ever read starts with eat only whole grains. I'm allergic to bran. Whole grains are out. I've lost count of the number of times the "official food pyramid" has changed in my lifetime. Of course, they also add in that moving helps. Of course it does.

Now, here's the real problem. Being overweight is a symptom, and I'm not talking about a symptom of unhealthy eating or not exercising. The eating and moving are tools. You would have to live under a rock not to know that eating healthy and exercising regularly is good for you. Recently, I was told that my back problem would improve if I lost weight, to which I replied, "Thank you so much for telling me because I'm clearly too stupid to figure it out on my own." Sarcastic? Definitely. Also, incredibly angry. I have been starved to the point of eating dog food. I have been forced to eat food that made me sick. I have been told that I'm too active: hold still! I've been told that men don't marry girls that weigh as much as I do. This to a woman who is an abuse survivor. I promptly put on twenty pounds. Eating and exercising are not the problem or the issue or the answer. I freely admit I hide behind my weight.

So to all those who say that all you have to do is eat right and exercise, I respectfully request that you keep your shallow opinions to yourself. Try looking a little deeper than the surface. You look at someone who is overweight and ask why they don't eat better and exercise. You see them eating at a fast food restaurant and nod sagely that if they'd stop, they'd be healthy. I hope you never find yourself struggling with a health issue that others consider easy to solve if you only *fill in the blank*.

The truth is that I've done eating healthy and the exercise. I lost a little, slowly. Then, someone I do not trust commented on how good I was looking, and I promptly regained the weight I'd lost and then some. I have discovered that I am not a stress eater. In fact, when I'm stressed, I stop eating. However, I do eat to stuff emotions. I do eat to stop thinking. I do eat when my hormones are out of whack. Food is always there when I want it. Food always gives exactly what I expect. Food doesn't care if I'm fat or plain or unsuccessful or slow or awkward or scatterbrained or clumsy. People wonder why I accumulated food storage: I needed to know it was there. I will never allow anyone to dictate to me again what I may or may not eat. No one is allowed to force me to eat what makes me sick. No one is allowed to decide how much or how little I eat.

Everyday, I endeavor to be aware of what I eat. I endeavor to do some form of exercise. I am endeavoring to teach myself how to be healthy, but it starts on the inside. That place those perfectionists cannot see. So, if you see me eating something that's less than healthy try stopping a minute and first asking yourself, "Do I know if this is an occasional treat or a habit?" Then ask, "If it's a habit, do I know what need is being filled?" Then ask yourself, "If it's a need, am I in any position to fill that need?" If the answer is "No" any of those questions, then I would appreciate it if you would simply live your life and allow me to live mine. I do recognize a good example when I see one, and it does help. I will never learn healthy behaviors if I am forced. Been there, done that, and clearly it doesn't work.

All that being said, this comes down to one thing: I want the right to choose for myself. God gave me free will, and no one has the right to take it away unless it infringes on basic moral principles, and I have yet to have anyone point out in the Bible where is says Thou shalt not be fat. However, there are plenty of criminals wandering the street who have lied, cheated, committed adultery, murdered... So, when you've cleaned up the streets of those lawbreakers, then you can come after me about what I eat.