Ten days to Christmas...

Christmas has always been a struggle for me. My birthday is so close, it was often forgotten or I could have one less gift on Christmas and have it for my birthday. In the last eight years, God blessed me with amazing friends. Friends I discovered because of LOTR. We met on a LOTR-related board, online. They celebrated my birthday all month long, year after year. Now, I'm content to simply be remembered on the day of my birth or close to it. They've shown me in so many ways that they cherish me. To them, I made a difference because I was born. I think, it's all most of us want: To know we matter, to know that the world is a little better because we existed on this little planet.

Over the years, I planned so much for Christmas, but all of them revolved around a family of my own. Every year, I hoped that this year would be the year I would have someone with whom to share this important reminder of our Savior's birth, the birth that changed the whole World and all of Time and Eternity. But God had other plans.

Finally, last year, I began creating traditions for myself. These aren't anything like the traditions I planned before, but they are perhaps more centered in the true reason for the season, Jesus Christ, my Savior. He who taught about love and hope and how to live life, by example. I'm not the best of students, but I am tenacious.

This year, I'm clearly not settled into my traditions, but I'm re-thinking and trying a few new things. I have followed almost every tradition I put on my list last year, and added quite a few things this year. Yes, it's all so new I find myself double checking the list I created, largely because it's practically nothing like I always imagined it would be. Re-inventing yourself is a challenge. God never said it would be easy; He only promised it would be worth it.