Letting go...

I've been debating posting this for a while.

It is never easy when a long-time favorite author changes their style of writing to the point where I move them from the Yes List to the No List. I've lost a friend. No choice. Granted it makes time for a new author, but it's still sad when we've spent so many hours together. It's even difficult to go back and re-read old favorites without the shadow of the knowledge of the change.

What does it take to be moved?

Changing from writing healthy characters to writing the stereotypical stupid romance characters.

Really.

What does this mean to me?

The heroine is a prima donna witch, and the hero is a dumb jerk. Okay, that's taking it to an extreme, but wander too close to those stereotypes and I'm done.

Heroine example: She's always harping about her favorite cause. She requires him to change to fit her. She puts others in danger to prove she's tough enough. You know the one: She decides to investigate her brother's murder by a drug dealer who isn't put away. She doesn't like gun or violence. Yes, this creates automatic conflict, but it's also a recipe for disaster unless you use author created magic fairy dust.

Hero example: He's beyond alpha male; he's narcissistic. The popular Grey series falls smack in the middle of this. He loathes himself for being a good fighter, but doesn't change his profession. He needs her to show him the error of his ways because he isn't smart enough to figure it out.

I really dislike couples who will die without the other. I mean the ones who declare their life is over without the other.

Why do I feel this way?

This kind of "love" reminds me of a parasite.

Is that really what you want to say about the love you shared? It's nothing without their physical presence? Grow a backbone. Miss them? Yes. Go through a period of mourning? Yes. Show the world what that kind of love means to you, not merely ashes but beauty beyond imaging.

Healthy love encourages growth, strength, empowerment.

I'm not particularly good at this. I'm an abuse survivor. I freely confess I'm messed up in a lot of ways, but I refuse to stay stuck.

I admit it: I read romance novels to help me understand better the male/female connection. It's especially why I look for writers who write reasonably healthy characters. I know unhealthy. I've lived it. I recognize it when I see it. I don't know healthy. Sometimes it isn't about the whole book being healthy; instead, I'll find an idea, concept, or single character that makes me think: "I want to be like that!"

What's the main reason for moving from Yes to No?

Their books bring me down instead of lifting me up.

It's time to mourn the loss, let go, get over them, and find someone better.