Trusting God...

It isn't always easy. In fact, it usually isn't. One must be willing to trust to something that cannot be seen or touched or heard in the usual way. And yet, when I turn my life over to God, I am happier and more at peace than when I endeavor to control everything myself. In the parable of the ten virgins, God explained this phenomenon of having faith, but not being able to give it to someone else; it must be acquired on one's own. It isn't a passive process. It doesn't simply happen because we want to make it so. It requires time, patience, effort, work, and sacrifice. It is the struggle that brings the desired results. I like calm as much as anyone. I was taught that calm was worth any sacrifice, including the sacrifice of honor, virtue, and self-respect. Those lessons were wrong. They were based in lies, lies taught by the father of lies.

I remember a song I loved but didn't entirely understand or appreciate. It encouraged one to tack against the wind. I have no memories of sailing, ever. I had a general working knowledge of the process, but its intricacies eluded me. As the years have passed, and I've seen more movies and programs that have shown the process, I've developed a deeper appreciation for the skill. You see, part of the insanity of what I grew up with was the need to keep things as simple as possible. Tacking is not a particularly simple process, unless you are extremely skilled. That is the part I failed to grasp: skill. I wanted things to be easy. Give me the easy button! However, I'm finally learning that the easy button is only the best way when the outcome really doesn't matter.

Anything that matters requires study, consideration, work, practice, and patience. Like most people, I've laughed at the cartoon of the person praying: "Dear God, please give me patience, and I want it right NOW!" Many years ago, someone set me straight on how that all works. If you ask God for patience, He is going to send you trials so you have the opportunity to learn patience. If you ask for courage, He is going to open opportunities for you to learn courage.

Values come at a price. Did you know that studies have shown if people are offered something for free they frequently don't bother with it? Whereas if the same thing is offered for a price, even a nominal price, it is more likely to be accepted or even sought after? That which is too easily given is frequently to lightly held. I have no idea where I heard that, but it's niggled at me for years.

As I embark on my current venture, I think of how much work I put into it. The hours I spend. The fretting, nattering, research, and time. Lots and lots of time. I woke before six this morning, and the day started with a little research. Other things needed to be done, and they were, and then I was back to research, rethinking, considering, re-arranging. Now, it's after eleven at night, and I'm not finished, but I am winding down. I should be able to sleep by about midnight.

There are moments when I question myself, and wondering what I think I'm doing. Then I close the door on the doubts, and do what God has laid it on my heart to do, and I am amazed and awed. Trusting God isn't easy, but He never even hinted that it would be; in fact, He assured it would not. I didn't quite understand that either. Jesus said to cast our burden upon Him, for His way is easy, and His burden is light. How could this be? When I am able to help others, my burden seems so much lighter. The most important thing I'm learning right now is to trust God. The lessons, I know, will be lifelong, but I've made some significant strides of late.