...at the bottom.
Laundry: Done. Defrost fridge: Done. Check blogs: Done. Reading assignments: Done. Make better food choices: Done. I didn't do well on that last one, this past week. I did much better, today.
Sigh... I wrote "the bottom" and then deleted, knowing that I dared not post here... I suppose that's the real bottom. I struggle to own my feelings, but I must step carefully, every moment of every day, lest I find myself on the wrong end of a disagreement. I want to give the advice to others to create a way, when they are young, to be independent, and yet, I know all too well that such broad advice isn't truly helpful. It's like the quote I heard long ago: If a philosophy can fit in a nutshell, it should probably stay there.
So, I'm endeavoring to strip away all the lies and all the old dreams that no longer fit, to face the truth that I am not and never will be what I was taught I should be, and even my own image of myself is wrong on many levels, but not all. This means figuring out what I may keep, what is right, what is true to me, and then decide where I go from here, but that is for another day. Today, it is recognizing where I am and who I am. I have to start somewhere, someday. Today is as good a day as any.
This quote came in an email, from a friend, today, and it seemed remarkably fitting for the beginning of this journey:
"Faith is not about everything turning out OK;
"Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."
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Laundry is done. Yay! Enjoyed some reading. Everything else went to the wayside. Life happened. I visited with a friend. It was lovely. ...
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~ Sweet spirited souls who lighten my world simply by being in it. ~ Another editing job done. ~ Cooling weather. ~ Successfully takin...
I love that quote. May I repost with a link back?
ReplyDeleteFeel free! :-)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever thought of creating a blog under an 'assumed name?'
ReplyDeleteHonestly, if you know kith and kin are reading your stuff, it makes it so much harder to be true to yourself. Not that you should hide from family and such, but that you have the freedom to write whatever you need to write - to grow, to live, to puzzle out, to laugh.
How about 'Wily Coyote?' You know it can't 'link' to a certain character or fandom. *g*
((Sharron)) I did and was found. Maybe something completely different...
ReplyDelete