Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Moderation...

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23 KJV

On the surface, that sounds like a smooth glass surface, waveless, flawless, perfect. That being said, it wasn't Jesus who was bothered by the storm, it was His disciples. He was the calm in the midst of the storm. Before I find myself falling into the belief that I must always be calm, I remember that Jesus used a whip He had braided to protest the misuse of the temple. He turned over tables. He chose his battles. For the most part, His actions were peaceful, but He recognized the need to stand and fight.

I have spent my life being criticized for being too sensitive, too passionate, too reserved, too untouchable, too fill-in-the-blank. The pendulum would swing first one way and then the other. It wasn't me who changed; it was the expectations of others, depending on what they needed from me. It was hunky-dory if my enthusiasm was backing their agenda. I was unreasonable and unkind if my views differed from the expected.

It's safer to be quiet, to go with the flow, to not make waves. Is that truly the kind of safe I want for myself?

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. - Revelations 3:16 KJV

I have strong political views, strong religious views, strong personal views.... I'm opinionated; I admit it. I know what I like and what I don't like. And I'm willing to admit when I don't know. All that being said, I'm endeavoring to learn what fights are worth fighting, and what fights need to be turned over to someone else. Choosing my battles is not being wishy-washy or passive or even complicit. I spent so much time trying to fight every battle that crossed my path without realizing that things that mattered to me were being buried by the fallout.

What I didn't realize is that some of those battles were a distraction. I'm learning that this is another aspect of boundaries. As I establish healthy boundaries, the battles I want to fight become clearer. I never expected that to be one of the ramifications.

6 comments:

  1. Oh my - I felt like I was reading my life. *hugs*

    It's true - about fighting the necessary battles. I've got a friend whom I must keep my mouth shut most of the time. We disagree on everything. And she's not very tolerant. But I love her to pieces. Go figure.

    Clearer battles sound wonderful!

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  2. ((Sharron)) There's more than one reason we're friends. :-)

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  3. I agree with the part that as I set healthy boundaries are start choosing the battles that matter most. This is excellent, Thanks.

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  4. I really didn't expect that correlation between boundaries and battles.

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  5. Very insightful... thank you. Right now I'm picking my battles in potty training... who knew such "simple" life lessons could become such intense battles... and with a three year old nonetheless.

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  6. There is nothing simple about a three-year-old. :-) They aren't yet of the age of reasoning, but they have a will of their own and the wherewithal to exercise it.

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