...starts now.
I've been feeling discouraged with my REAL program. There's a comfort in knowing I'm not alone, and yet I also hurt for those who struggle with me. Yes, I feel like we're in this together. Various quarters are nattering on and on about the evils of obesity. I'm not sure if they realize the harm they are inflicting or if they are that sadistic. I've encountered both camps.
The other day, Kiki posted about renewing her attempt to become healthy. The Hardest Battle Like me, she's tired of not feeling good, and knows that weight is a direct correlation.
I feel better when I weigh less. I'll be perfectly honest I'm 80 lb overweight. I know it isn't healthy. I know my back would be much happier with less weight to support. I would love to be able to move more freely. I would love to be able to buy clothes off the rack again. I would be thrilled to fit into the closet full of clothes I have in smaller sizes... healthier sizes.
I am really tired of feeling so crumby all the time. That being said, my feeling crumby is not related entirely to my weight. My ability to exercise is limited, due to a couple of factors. I tore all the ligaments in my ankle when I was 18 years old. I did not receive the necessary medical attention, and was informed by my doctor, when I finally saw him, that I would have trouble for the rest of my life. As he warned, it caused a world of trouble down the road. Compensating for the injury messed up my back. My physical therapist for my back informed me that there are things I can never do again, running, roller coasters, horseback riding at anything faster than a walk. Actually, he told me I wasn't allowed on a horse, again, ever. Many people do not know how devastating that last one is to me. I figured a walk would be okay. I try not to think about it too much.
Upsi posted a great perspective on the need to be skinny. You Don't Have To Dance For Them It has changed my perspective. Until I read it, I hadn't realized how I was sabotaging myself. I thought I was being so supportive of myself when I chanted to myself, "Walk like you're skinny, not like you're fat."
Yes, did you see the nasty dig I was giving myself? So, starting this moment it's now "Walk like you're healthy." There's a long road ahead of me, but there's nothing new in that.
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I think the idea of "skinny" is so, so evil and it's been perpetuated by the media. It's so sad, there are so many girls out there (I know boys feel the pressure too, but I really feel it's a much more relevant issue for girls/women) who are unhappy with how they look. I think everyone, at some point or another, deals with self-esteem issues when it comes to our looks. And it's not fair that we're constantly bombarded by media telling us we're not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not perfect enough. It's not fair, what we're up against and it's a difficult thing to battle.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a much healthier approach to deal with weight in terms of the factor of health, rather than how "fat" or how "skinny" we are. Good for you for changing your perspective!
Thanks, Jonsi! I couldn't have done it without my friends. :-)
ReplyDeletedarling, walk like you don't give a damn! you're as healthy as you are.
ReplyDeletei've found that ever since moving here i've become a lot more immune to commercialized/media/conventionalized images of 'good looking' guys and 'pretty/attractive' girls on tv and in ads. i don't feel anything towards them because they're being sold for their looks, not for who they are as a person. the look in their eyes is so vacant and their emotional expressions are so put on, they are little more than vehicles to display clothes or a certain 'attractive' lifestyle. it's like looking at the bodies of mannequins, the way the camera, the industry, the media looks at them.
i do believe the model industry is somewhat akin to the porn industry, selling something that isn't real and using people like dolls.
i do believe models must be some of the more less happy people on earth, to be in such an environment...
Thanks, Lisa. I've known for years that models were airbrushed and changed by computer. I actually have taken modeling classes and enjoyed it. One of the companies I worked with wanted me to pursue acting in order to help me be less self-conscious. I wouldn't want to be a model, but I'm glad I did it. I learned to walk correctly, which is probably why it took so long to have back problems. Unfortunately, my distorted image maker was a lot closer to home. Trying to turn off the negative tape, with which I was trained, is difficult, but I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to "healthy walking." We can do this.
ReplyDeleteYes!
ReplyDelete