If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
An interesting observation, today. I went for a one-mile walk. I'm trying something that I'd done when I lost 30 lb in 3 months. When I'm walking I tell myself to walk like I'm skinny, not like I'm fat. I was gobsmacked by the difference I noticed. I actually do walk differently. I could feel my hips shift slightly, my back straightened, my neck felt like it lengthened, and my tummy flattened, a little. A very little. (I'll take what I can get.) I had a yoga teacher, years ago, who told us to stand like we had a piece of string tied to the top of our head that aligned perfectly with the spine. That was over 20 years ago, and I'm still able to feel myself stand a little taller, a little more centered.
I'm truly not comfortable at my current weight. I know how I arrived at this weight. I know the mechanics of losing weight. Now, it's time to convince myself that it's safe to lose weight. An abuse survivor knows that being safe isn't about the obvious. The obvious is a given, the "duh" factor. It's time to reach deeper, and learn that I'm capable of protecting my healthy boundaries, so I don't need the unhealthy boundaries anymore.
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Brain Dump
In the past, a eunuch is what happened to those who were conquered and enslaved. It hasn't changed.
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Judy,
ReplyDeleteSending all my support - sounds like you have a good momentum building up, healthy expectations, and the right attitude. I've found Weight Watchers to be really empowering, and I find the more I push myself to move - any movement, the better I feel, the stronger I am to keep moving.
I believe in you!
xo
upsi
Thanks, upsi! Another of my friends also loves Weight Watchers. I grew up with such horrible experiences regarding food and exercises. I'm hoping I've finally figured out something that will work for me.
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